Ever get deja vu? Ever feel like you’ve already experienced this moment in time? Like you can predict what will happen next, what someone will say or do.
When I was 15 I started to have deja vu frequently. I would get this rush of sensation in my blood that traveled up my spine and into my brain. I would lose a period of time and when the feeling was gone I would be confused. Sometimes I found myself on the other side of my school’s campus and wouldn’t have a clue as to how I got there. I never thought much of it until one day someone pointed out to me, “I think you just had a seizure.”
Those words haunt me to this day. The next week was a blur of blood work, doctor visits, and tests that I never thought I would have to have. The neurologist confirmed that the “deja vu” feeling I was having was actually an aura. He diagnosed me with complex partial seizures that he could see starting in my right temporal lobe.
Soon I lost all control of my life and epilepsy took over. I couldn’t drive, was on special diets, and was testing out seizure medication after seizure medication hoping to find some combination that would stop them. The medicine would work for a few months, but still no seizure control. Because I wasn’t seeing any results, the doctors suggested that I consider having surgery.
Tears streamed down my face as I looked at my neurologist’s serious but sympathetic face. “Brain surgery? No, no I’m sorry but I can’t.” There was no way I was going to have brain surgery before I exhausted every option to control my seizures.
At that time, medical marijuana was frequently reported in the news. Stories about children using CBD oil and achieving seizure freedom stirred up nationwide controversy. Curious to find out the real truth about CBD and epilepsy, I went to a support group and found that several people there were using it to control their seizures. I wasn’t going to say yes to surgery until I tried it myself.
The first time I went to a dispensary I was a bit self-conscious about it. Because I don’t drive, I had a rideshare driver take me there. When he found out why I was going to a medical marijuana clinic, he was supportive and wanted to know more about CBD too. Thankfully Colorado was ahead in the game and already pushing to legalize marijuana. Getting a medical marijuana card was a pain-free process. Dispensaries are easy to find in Colorado and each one I went to the people there were up to date on CBD. They helped pick out an edible for me to try and I returned home, second-guessing about what I was about to do.
The way the news makes marijuana out to be this evil gateway drug is absurd. It was the news that scared me to try it out the first time. I looked at the edible gummy in my hand and thought, “Here goes nothing.” All I could do was wait and see what types of side effects it would have. The side effects of epilepsy medications are horrible. They make you so dizzy that you feel drunk, tired that you’ll fall asleep standing, and moody. Was CBD going to be the same?
I felt nothing. Nothing. An outcome of medication that made me want to continue to use it. It came time to tell my parents the reason for stalling on making a decision about surgery. I told them that I was using CBD, and held my breath waiting for them to get upset with me for using a strain of marijuana. Despite their conservative views, they were so happy to hear about the reduction in seizure activity. Desperate to become completely seizure-free, I moved forward with surgery.
Having your skull cut into isn’t exactly the best feeling in the world. My jaw ached from the incisions and I had a pounding headache for weeks. The painkillers and steroids the hospital gave me made me depressed and I didn’t want to take them. I found my stash of CBD gummies already knowing that they didn’t have any side effects, like depression, and would help with the pain. My mood brightened and I was so thankful that I was able to use it instead of the painkillers and steroids.
Despite the surgery, I still use CBD to help control my seizure activity and reduce stress levels. My seizures always seem to happen around the same time each month. When that time comes around I’m stressed, scared, and anxious. When I do start to feel that way, I rely on my CBD gummies to combat those feelings. PureKana is my go-to brand. It ships straight to my house and I don’t have to worry about catching a ride out of the suburbs to go to a dispensary. Their gummies taste good and work great at relieving any built-up stress that could trigger a seizure. After a long day, it is nice to have an all-natural product to ease my nerves.
Commercial drugs are a whole different breed than CBD. Despite it being controversial, I recommend those of all ages with epilepsy give it a shot and not think of it as another drug. Think of CBD as a therapy that sets you free from the real “noxious” drugs.
Disclaimer: This website is informational and cannot diagnose or treat illness or disease. Medical marijuana should be used under the direction of a licensed healthcare provider.