The first time I ever smoked weed, I coughed so hard I threw up in my hair a little bit. 

It’s been a while since then, but over the last few years, the affection of mary jane has become a regular part of my life as a cannabis copywriter with migraines and irritable bowel syndrome. That being said, I’ve been around my fair share of first-time smokers. After my first experience, I am hyper-aware of people’s nerves and how they’re feeling. I never want people to throw up or get so high they think they have to turn down the TV to taste their food.

That being said, here are the tips I’d give you if you told me you were going to smoke weed for the first time.

How to Smoke Weed

Make sure you’re around people you trust

My friend was very nice and understanding about the chunks of pot roast drying in my hair, and quickly realized the importance of saying “breathe slowly.” I’m grateful I was with someone who had empathy for other people rather than someone who would have laughed and made me feel worse. If you’ve never consumed THC you have no idea how it’s going to make you feel at first, so it’s important to be with people who will calm your nerves if you feel anxious or indulge you if you burst into a fit of giggles.

If possible, opt for a water-based system

A water bong will produce a much cooler hit that’s easier on the lungs than a joint or regular bowl pipe. If you’re concerned about coughing (don’t be, it’s totally normal), this will help.

Make sure you know how to “inhale”

It might sound silly explaining how to literally smoke weed, but clearly I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing when I thought I was Tommy Chong so I’ll add a few tips here for anyone who’s in the bathroom at a party lowkey Googling “how to smoke weed” (don’t worry, I got you)

How to Smoke a joint

Gently pass the tip of your joint through the flame until you’re able to pull smoke through. Avoid holding it in the flame too long as this will over-combust the herb and waste that sweet dankness. Once it’s lit, slowly pull some smoke into your mouth and hold it there. Move the joint away from your lips, take a big breath in to pull the smoke into your lungs. Hold it for 5 seconds and exhale.

How to smoke a bowl or pipe

Hold the bowl with a finger on the choke. When you’re ready to hit it, hold the flame close to the edge of the bowl to light a corner of the herb, and pull the flame away as soon as smoke starts to pull through, then remove your finger from the choke. Repeat the same breathing as mentioned above – slowly pull some smoke into your mouth, take another breath to inhale it back into your lungs, hold it for 5 seconds, and exhale. I recommend lighting a corner of the bowl as opposed to roasting the whole top of the herb because A) you’ll get more hits out of the bowl, and B) you’ll look extra cool at parties when they see how much room you left for everybody else.

Wait until you feel some effects before hitting it again

A single hit might not feel like much at first, but give it a few minutes to observe how you’re feeling before going for it again. If the joint makes its way back to you before you’re ready, just pass it along and take a break to measure how you’re feeling.

Remember you might not even get high

That definitely did not happen for me my first time (obvious reasons), but other people have claimed this to be the case for them. It could have to do with any variety of things – your metabolism, your Catholic guilt, your weak ass weed… it’s all fine.

You might feel it in your head, body, or both

Depending on what you’re smoking, you may feel the effects more in your head, more in your body, or both. Sativa-dominant strains tend to produce an uplifted head high that can either lead to giggles or anxiety, depending on how you like the feeling. If it’s an indica, you’ll likely feel it more in your body and start to wonder if you’ve become a couch. Don’t worry, have you ever met anybody who doesn’t like a couch? Exactly.

Remember you won’t be high forever

If you’re feeling like you’re starting to panic, one of the best things to remember is it’ll wear off within a few hours. Do your best to find something pleasant from the feeling – put on good music or a funny show, savor something delicious. There are many positive sensations to seek and it’s easy to cut through the feeling of “oh fuck oh fuck what’s happening to me” if you remember that at best, you’re not going to overdose, and at worst, you’ll fall asleep in an awkward position after laughing at a Geico commercial until you pee your pants. See, it’s all going to be okay.

Curious about what’s going on in your body once you take a hit? Check out the Jane Dope guide to the endocannabinoid system.